New mom sabotages her husband's gaming tournament after he refuses to help care for their newborn: 'Step up and be a parent too'

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Jul 14, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

Parenting is a two-person job. While there are excellent single parents out there, caring for a newborn often requires the waking attention of two fully attentive adults, which is why having children can make or break a relationship. When new parents reach a boiling point, things can go south very quickly.

For the Redditor in our next tale, things took a turn for the worse the moment their baby was born. Although he never showed signs of inattentiveness or laziness prior to the birth of their baby, this man became a whole new person in the midst of fatherhood–and not for the better. The wife and new mom originally posted this story online asking strangers on the Internet if her confusion and fury were misplaced, but after reading a few details about her husband's reaction to their new life together, it's clear.

Keep scrolling to read how this new mom stood up for herself and her needs as a human when her lackluster husband found a higher calling in his video games over his duty to his newborn child.

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  • 01
    "Our baby was more important than his game"
    via canva
  • 02
    AITA for Sabotaging my Husband's Tournament after he refused to help with our newborn? My husband, Jake (30M), and I (27F) recently welcomed our first
    via Puzzled-Two6615
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    baby, Emma, who is now three months old. As most new parents know, it's been a challenging time, filled with sleepless nights and endless diaper changes. I'm on maternity leave, so I'm home with Emma all day, but I still need help from Jake, especially during the night.
    via Puzzled-Two6615
  • 04
    Jake works from home and is a huge gamer. He spends most of his free time playing online games with his friends. I've tried to be understanding and give him his space, but it's been hard
    via Puzzled-Two6615
  • 05
    when he refuses to help with Emma at night. I've asked him multiple times to take turns getting up with her, but he always says he's too tired or that he has an important game.
    via Puzzled-Two6615
  • 06
    Breastfeeding has been particularly difficult. Emma often struggles to latch properly, leading to painful and sometimes . I've had mastitis cracked twice already, which leaves me
    via Puzzled-Two6615
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    feeling feverish and in intense pain. Despite seeing me in pain, Jake just laughs it off, finding it amusing. He never offers to help during these moments, even though I'm visibly struggling and desperate for support.
    via Puzzled-Two6615
  • 08
    One night, after I'd been up with Emma for the third time and Jake was still glued to his computer, I'd had enough. I went into his office and asked him to take over so I could get some sleep. He
    via Puzzled-Two6615
  • 09
    waved me off, saying he was in the middle of a game and that I should just handle it. He added, "You're on maternity leave and free all day while I have to work, so I need time to relax. You're just sitting around doing nothing all day anyway."
    via Puzzled-Two6615
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    I was exhausted and on the verge of tears. I needed his help, but he was completely dismissive. In a moment of frustration and desperation, I walked over to the router and turned off the Wi-Fi.
    via Puzzled-Two6615
  • 11
    That's when Jake completely lost it. He stormed out of his office, screaming at me. Apparently, he and his friends were in some sort of online tournament, and they were about to win when I unplugged the Wi-Fi. He called
    via Puzzled-Two6615
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    me selfish, irresponsible, and accused me of sabotaging his one form of relaxation. He went on to say that I had no right to interfere with his "me time" and that I should have just
    via Puzzled-Two6615
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    waited until he was done. I calmly explained that I needed his help and that our baby was more important than his game. He refused to listen and continued to berate me, adding that I haven't even been having with him
    via Puzzled-Two6615
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    and that we've only had four times since Emma was born. He accused me of wanting to take everything away from him while doing nothing all day and sitting at home on my Jake never helps during the day either, even after he finishes work
    via Puzzled-Two6615
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    at 5 PM. I don't expect him to help during work hours, but once he's off, he should be stepping up as a parent. Instead, he goes straight to his games, leaving me to handle everything alone.
    via Puzzled-Two6615
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    Since then, he's been sulking around the house, barely speaking to me. To make matters worse, his friends have been sending me nasty messages, calling me a "crazy wife" and saying I'm unreasonable. One of them even suggested that Jake should leave me because I'm "too demanding."
    via Puzzled-Two6615
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    I feel like I'm losing my mind here, just trying to get a bit of support. I'm exhausted, and all I wanted was for Jake to step up and be a parent too. Instead, I'm being painted as the villain for wanting help with our newborn. AITA?
    via Puzzled-Two6615
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    Edit 1: For those saying why I married him and didn't I know this before, Jake was completely different before Emma was born. He was supportive and understanding. This behavior is new and shocking to me.
    via Puzzled-Two6615
  • 19
    Jake works hard, and I appreciate him, but his indifference to my struggles makes me feel so isolated. I spend my days and nights in tears, wondering if I'm failing as a mother and a wife. All
    via Puzzled-Two6615
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    I've wanted is for us to share the responsibilities of parenting, especially during those late-night feedings and diaper changes that leave me feeling so drained. I've been struggling with feelings
    via Puzzled-Two6615
  • 21
    of sadness and guilt, wondering if I'm failing as a mother and a wife. It's not about controlling his downtime; it's about needing his support during this incredibly tough time. I wish you could understand the depth of loneliness and frustration I've been feeling.
    via Puzzled-Two6615
  • 22
    z-eldapin 1d ago Saturday morning, put some bottles in the fridge. Put the baby on jakes chest, and walk out the door. come back 8 hours later and ask him how 'sitting around on his day was'. all Forewarn the MIL that this is happening so she doesn't come and rescue him
    via z-eldapin
  • 23
    National Oil8587 • 1d ago This is impossible to live like this! Why are you with him? Did he even understand that he became a father or was he gaming through the birth of the baby?
    via National Oil8587
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    I'm a mom of a small baby as well, I read through your post and I'm terrified! Please get him to the therapy or to the court. ΝΤΑ
    via National Oil8587
  • 25
    Position Such1097 · 1d ago NTA You're not unreasonable for wanting help. It's his baby too, and he needs to act like it. Your husband needs to realize that being a parent means making sacrifices and stepping up to help, especially
    via Position Such1097
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    during the tough early months. Gaming is not more important than taking care of his own child. You did what you had to do to get his attention, and he needs to get his priorities straight.
    via Position Such1097
  • 27
    Bastet79 1d ago NTA. please ask him, when your me-time is. Make him give you a fixed time. And than stick your guns and go to bed. By the way, he failed as a partner and up to now also as a father... AH is his title I give him without any tournament.
    via Bastet79

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aita revenge wife petty revenge parenting petty husband new parents juicy story story newborn parent Reddit Parenting Fail parents step up
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